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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239425">good love is hard to find (i keep waiting)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnarleyquinn/pseuds/gnarleyquinn'>gnarleyquinn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ALL OF IT, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, dani as an exchange student, only a little bit, yes this is a damie college au with evil ex viola what about it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:47:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnarleyquinn/pseuds/gnarleyquinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I guess,” Jamie says. “Or they're trying to set us up.”</p><p>Dani snorts as she takes a sip of her drink, coughing as she tries not to look flustered in front of Jamie. Her eyes widen when she realizes Jamie is serious.</p><p>“W-why would they do that?”</p><p>Jamie leans back against the kitchen counter, shrugging her shoulders as she takes a sip of her drink.</p><p>“Hannah loves playing match-maker,” Jamie says. “But don’t worry. I know a straight girl when I see one.”</p><p>or</p><p>the college au that only i asked for</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dani Clayton/Jamie, Dani Clayton/Viola Lloyd, Ex Dani Clayton/Edmund O'Mara, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>752</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. one</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dani narrowly avoids a puddle as she wanders up to the entrance of the apartment complex. She can hear the bass of house music up above, the only confirmation she has that she’s in the right place other than the now smudged address she’d hastily written on her hand earlier in the day. The autumn chill is starting to set in, and Dani shivers a little as the night breeze pierces the opening of her denim jacket.</p><p>She heads inside, following the sound of the music up to the third floor, and down the hall. 7C isn’t the only apartment up to late night festivities, and Dani finds comfort in the business of the building. She knocks on the door, unsure if she should just walk in or not. She waits a little bit, and just as she’s about to open the door herself, it swings open, revealing Hannah and a decent group of party goers behind her. </p><p>“Dani!” Hannah smiles big, a full cup in her hand, “You’re here!”</p><p>“I’m here!” She laughs, and though she feels a bit awkward, the feeling goes away when Hannah grabs her gently by the arm, pulling her into the mix of the party. </p><p>“I’m so glad you came!” Hannah shouts over the music, “Do you want something to drink?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll just have whatever you’re having.” </p><p>Hannah holds up a finger to wait and Dani nods. As Hannah walks away, Dani’s phone buzzes in her back pocket.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>1 new text message.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>She swipes on it, her phone unlocking to a text from Eddie, and she re-locks her phone without even reading it. Sighing, she takes a look around the flat. </p><p>It’s a pretty big space for a group of college students to be living in, and as she moves closer to the kitchen area, the connected living room comes into view. Behind the drunken students littering the room, she can tell that the space is decorated meticulously, earth tones and plants taking up the majority of her sight. Hannah walks back with a solo cup and hands it off to Dani, a bright pink liquid inside. </p><p>“Owen makes the best punch. You’re gonna love it.” </p><p>Dani laughs and nods.</p><p>“Your place is amazing.” She says.</p><p>“Right? Jamie decorated it.”</p><p>“Is Jamie your other roommate?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah! I actually wanted to introduce-”</p><p>“Hannah!”</p><p>Owen’s voice rings out from the ensuite kitchen, both Dani and Hannah’s eyes darting towards the noise. Hannah rolls her eyes at the sight of the now-tipped pitcher of pink liquid. </p><p>“Men.” Hannah winks, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Dani nods again, moving a little closer to the edge of the room. She finds safety with her back against the wall, watching the party. Instead of the insane amount of led lights lining the ceiling like the frat houses she remembers (not-so) fondly from the states, they’ve got an assortment of white christmas lights dangling off the walls, and posters from the farmer’s market. It’s cozy, she thinks.</p><p>She’s watching a guy get <em>severely</em> dodged by a girl just a few feet over when a voice rings out next to her.</p><p>“You new here?”</p><p>Her head flashes to the right to find a tall brunette next to her. </p><p>“I’m sorry?”</p><p>“<em>Definitely</em> new.” </p><p>Dani looks down for a second, a blush immediately taking over her cheeks.</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> sorry,” the girl laughs and Dani feels more confused, “My name is Viola. I just hadn’t seen you at one of these before. Then I heard your accent.”</p><p>“Oh,” Dani laughs, “I guess it’s a dead giveaway, huh?”</p><p>“Just a little.” Viola winks and Dani can’t help another blush creeping up her neck.</p><p>Is she <em>flirting</em>?</p><p>“My name is Dani,” She blurts out. Viola smiles and Dani can’t help but return the gesture.</p><p>“Do you-” </p><p>“<em>Viola</em>?” Hannah interrupts, her eyes widening in shock. “What are you doing here?” </p><p>Dani notes the frustrated tone in Hannah’s voice as Viola rolls her eyes.</p><p>“I’m talking to Dani.” She gestures to Dani and Dani just smiles awkwardly. </p><p>
  <em>What exactly is happening here?</em>
</p><p>“Really, Viola?”</p><p>Hannah crosses her arms and continues, not giving Viola a chance to speak. </p><p>“Just, get out of here alright? You know you shouldn’t be around.”</p><p>“Hannah, I-”</p><p>“I really don’t want to hear it, Viola. Leave.” Hannah’s tone is staggering and Dani takes a sip of punch to hide her growing look of confusion. Her eyes widen immediately. The punch is <em>really</em> good.</p><p>Viola huffs, her expression an exact 180 of the easy smile she’d shown to Dani just moments before, but when she speaks to Dani again, her tone is soft.</p><p>“See you later, Dani.”</p><p>Dani lowers the cup from her face, giving a small wave and a “<em>Bye</em>.” She waits for Viola to completely disappear through the door before turning to Hannah.</p><p>“Who was <em>that</em>?”</p><p>Hannah looks at Dani, her eyes flickering up as if she just remembered Dani was even there. </p><p>“She’s no one,” Hannah says, although Dani can surely hear the disdain in her voice. Hannah taps Dani’s arm, “C’mon, there’s someone I want you to meet.”</p><p>Dani trails behind Hannah the short distance to the small kitchen, where several party goers are engaged in quieter conversation. Dani notices Owen lean down to a shorter brunette next to him, clearly trying to get a point across amongst the ruckus of the party. She laughs and Dani gets a tingle in her stomach.</p><p>Her phone buzzes again, nearly on cue, but she suppresses the urge to check it as Hannah begins introductions. </p><p>“Owen!” She shouts over the music, “You remember Dani, right?”</p><p>He looks up at her and Dani gives a small smile, her free hand nervously finding its way into the pocket of her denim jacket.</p><p>“How could I forget the girl who poured an entire cup of sugar in her coffee last night!” He laughs and Dani can feel her cheeks go hot, but when the group laughs and she laughs with them, it’s comfortable and easy. </p><p>She thinks back to the last time she hung out with her friends before she left, and how the jokes flew but none seemed to land. How each time someone said something about it, Eddie’s grip on her shoulder would get tighter and his laugh would come out a little more stale. </p><p>“Jamie, this is Dani,” Hannah gestures from the brunette back to Dani, “Dani, Jamie.”</p><p>Jamie smiles and Dani feels nervous again. She definitely hasn’t felt <em>this</em> in a while.</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Jamie smiles, her head nodding up slightly, and Dani can’t tell if her blush just won’t go away or if the few sips of Owen’s punch are actually starting to get to her. </p><p>“Hannah told me you decorated the living room. It looks amazing.” Dani says, “I could never keep that many plants alive. I’d probably kill them.”</p><p>“That’s exactly why we let Jamie take care of it,” Owen says, nudging her shoulder. </p><p>“Can’t trust this lot with anything,” Jamie says, “I went out of town for one weekend and they almost killed my cactus. A <em>cactus</em>.”</p><p>“Really?” Dani grimaces at Hannah and Owen. Owen shrugs.</p><p>“I’m more of a cook than a gardener,” He says.</p><p>Dani watches as Hannah gets a mischievous look on her face.</p><p>“That reminds me, Owen, will you come with me? There’s a recipe I need you to look at on my laptop.”</p><p>“Oh, sure.” He squeezes through the girls, “Lead the way.” </p><p>Dani is about to follow when Hannah says, “We’ll be right back,” leaving Dani and Jamie behind in the kitchen.</p><p>Did Hannah just…?</p><p>“If they don’t make out roughly every four hours they’ll explode,” Jamie’s voice rings out, and she winks when Dani’s head turns back to her.</p><p>“They’re sweet,” Dani says, “Must be nice to have someone to uh, look at recipes with. I guess.” </p><p>Jamie raises her eyebrows.</p><p>“I guess.” Jamie says. “Or they’re trying to set us up.”</p><p>Dani snorts as she takes a sip of her drink, coughing as she tries not to look flustered in front of Jamie. Her eyes widen when she realizes Jamie is serious.</p><p>“W-why would they do that?”</p><p>Jamie leans back against the kitchen counter, shrugging her shoulders as she takes a sip of her drink.</p><p>“Hannah loves playing match-maker,” Jamie says. “But don’t worry. I know a straight girl when I see one.”</p><p>Dani’s eyes widen and she’s sure her cheeks haven’t cooled down since the conversation started.</p><p>“I’m actually-”</p><p>“It’s all good, Hannah just gets excited sometimes,” Jamie interrupts. “Anyway, what are you studying all the way over here for?”</p><p>Dani takes a moment to assess her options. She could continue on the rest of this conversation as is, or she could grab this insanely hot girl by the shoulders and scream, <em>I’m gay!</em>, right in her face. </p><p>“I’ve always wanted to travel, and the timing was good for me to spend a year away from home.” </p><p>Nice, Dani. Great.</p><p>“I guess America’s as shit as they say, huh?”</p><p>She thinks back to her home, how the roads turned to dust if you went anywhere past fifteen miles from main street. <em>Belmont</em> was a little better; Tennessee certainly wasn’t the worst, but after what happened with Eddie—she’s glad to spend the year away.</p><p>“A place is only as good as its people, I guess.”</p><p>Jamie huffs, raising her cup toward Dani.</p><p>“I’ll cheers to that one.”</p><p>Dani’s cup meets hers and they both take sips, Jamie’s slight grimace letting Dani know that she’s definitely not drinking Owen’s punch.</p><p>“So, what do you study?” Dani asks. </p><p>“Ethnobotany.”</p><p>Dani thinks her face must look as blank as it feels when Jamie continues talking.</p><p>“It’s like the cultural use of plants,” Jamie says. “Imagine if an anthropologist went to gardening club.”</p><p>Dani nods, not entirely sure she’s grasping it, but feeling like she’s close enough.</p><p>“So like, not what herbal tea is made out of but <em>why</em> it’s drunk in the first place?”</p><p>“Close enough,” Jamie shrugs, and she has a teasing smile on her face that Dani thinks is making her knees weak, but that might just be the alcohol as well.</p><p>“What about you?” Jamie adds.</p><p>“Oh, I’m an english major. I’m concentrating in teaching,” Dani says, “Nothing as cool as <em>ethnobotany</em>.”</p><p>“Hey, being a teacher is a superpower on its own. Lord knows I might have to strangle a kid or two if you leave me alone too long with them.”</p><p>“Kids really are shitheads,” Dani laughs, “Last year I had a kid get mad at me for cancelling playtime outside when it was raining, so he stole a bowl from the arts and crafts table and dumped water all over the indoor toys. It took me forever to clean up each individual toy.”</p><p>“And you didn’t end up in jail that night?” Jamie’s face looks amazed, and Dani laughs.</p><p>“The worst part was that when I told his parents, they literally just said, ‘Kids, right?’”</p><p>Jamie scoffs, sliding a little closer to Dani. Dani’s heart races just a tad because, <em>she thinks I’m </em>straight<em> and this is what she’s doing?</em></p><p>“See, that’s why I stick to plants. They can’t talk back, and if they don’t cooperate, then-”</p><p>Jamie gestures her hand sliding across her throat and smiles when Dani laughs. </p><p>“I’m serious!” Jamie laughs, “I don’t know how you would rather be responsible for live humans over a plant. Anyone, really.”</p><p>Dani thinks back on some of the really good kids that she’s had, and how they seemed to help her more than she probably ever helped them.</p><p>“I don’t know, sometimes a kid will say or do something that just makes the world seem okay,” Dani says. “It’s nice being around minds that haven’t been tainted yet.”</p><p>She takes a sip from her cup, and when she looks up, Jamie’s eyes are (what feels like) piercing her soul. It’s not a look of pity, she knows that one, but it’s a little sad, and it makes Dani sad. </p><p>She’s about to apologize for bringing down the mood when suddenly Jamie shakes her head.</p><p>“And then they <em>piss</em> themselves,” She says.</p><p>--</p><p>By the time Hannah and Owen return to the kitchen, Dani’s on her third cup of punch and her and Jamie have burned through so many topics that she’s surprised they still have things to talk about. And that she’s still able to hold coherent conversation. Somehow they drifted even closer in the midst of their conversation, and Dani tries not to completely lose it when Jamie’s hand brushes against her every time she puts her cup down.</p><p>“Welcome back,” Jamie says as Hannah and Owen walk up, “What amazing dish are you serving me up for dinner tomorrow night?”</p><p>Owen starts laughing before he realizes that Jamie’s actually serious, and Dani stifles her own laugh as he stumbles over his words. </p><p>“I was, um, we found-”</p><p>“Lasagna, I found a lasagna recipe,” Hannah interjects.</p><p>“Lasagna is the <em>best</em>,” Dani says, her drunken excitement over her favorite food shining through. </p><p>Jamie looks on with an amused smile.</p><p>“You should come over then,” Hannah says. Dani notices a sly look she passes to Jamie. “Owen, you can cook for four, right?”</p><p>“It would be my honor,” Owen says, finally recovered from his flustered state. </p><p>“Great!” Hannah says, turning to Dani, “We can just come here right after class.”</p><p>“Sounds good to me,” Dani says.</p><p>“Wait ‘til you try Owen’s cooking,” Hannah beams, “I don’t think there’s a restaurant in London that can compare.”</p><p>Dani giggles as Owen blushes, she watches the way his face melts as Hannah continues to compliment him, the soft eyes and the easy smile that takes over his features and she feels her own smile drop, just slightly at the thought that only a year ago she still thought she had that. </p><p>Her phone buzzes again. This time she pulls it out, giving into the hole it’s been burning in her pocket the entire night. It flickers on, the notification reading <strong><em>5 new text messages</em></strong>, and she knows they have to all be from Eddie. She hesitates for a second before opening it. </p><p><strong>Eddie (10:03 PM):</strong> Facetime?<br/>
<strong>Eddie (11:02 PM):</strong> Hey, you there?<br/>
<strong>Eddie (11:47 PM):</strong> I’ll stay up in case you want to chat<br/>
<strong>Eddie (12:09 PM):</strong> What are you up to?<br/>
<strong>Eddie (12:50 PM):</strong> Dani what the hell</p><p>“Is everything alright, Dani?” </p><p>Her head shoots up at the sound of Hannah’s voice, instantly locking her phone and shoving it back in her pocket.</p><p>“What-yeah, no everything’s fine,” She blurts out. “Just a few missed calls from my mom. You know how that goes.”</p><p>She laughs awkwardly, feeling the burn of Jamie’s gaze next to her, and hopes she’s believable enough. She really doesn’t want to get into <em>that</em> right now. Not ever, preferably. </p><p>“It’s all fun and games until mum’s waiting for you at the kitchen table at two in the morning,” Owen says, and Dani laughs for real, grateful for Owen’s easygoing attitude. “Can’t imagine it with a time zone change.”</p><p>He starts getting into a story about the first time he tried to sneak out of the house in high school, and Dani finally lets herself look at Jamie for the first time since she pulled out her phone. She flashes her eyes to find Jamie’s already on her, and she brings her cup up to her mouth to avoid the inquisition evident in Jamie’s stare. </p><p>“-when I finally rounded the house back to the front door, I swear my mum had never tugged my ear so hard. Sometimes I can still feel it in my sleep.” </p><p>Hannah’s laugh booms loudly, and Jamie moves her eyes from Dani’s to Owen, slowly joining in on the laughter of the story. </p><p>“My personal favorite’s the time he went to fill her car up and got locked <em>inside</em>,” Hannah says, and Jamie snorts at that one.</p><p>“It was first year and we had literally just met,” Jamie says. “Me and Hannah are out and I barely hear my phone ringing, and Owen's <em>frantic</em>.”</p><p>“My mum would’ve killed me for breaking her car!”</p><p>Dani laughs at the banter, for real this time, when a thought strikes her.</p><p>“Wait-” She says, “How did you even get locked <em>in</em> the car?”</p><p>“Dani,” Owen places both hands on her shoulders and she has to stifle a smile, “Technology is the devil.”</p><p>“Sure, Owen, just leave out the part where you didn’t realize you hit the child lock.” </p><p>Jamie smirks and Dani giggles, pulling out her phone to check the time. <em>No new messages</em>, but it’s nearing two in the morning and Dani has a lecture at eight. </p><p>“This has been really fun guys, but I think I should start heading back,” She pushes off the counter she’d been leaning on, the alcohol she’d been drinking finally going to her head. She ignores the burning feeling when Jamie’s hand meets her lower back.</p><p>“Easy there, you sure you don’t want to crash here?” Jamie asks.</p><p>Dani ignores the hint of concern in Jamie’s voice and steadies herself just enough that Jamie lowers her hand.</p><p>“Yeah, I have a morning class, so. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Well me and Hannah can walk you back if you’d like?” Owen offers. “It’s probably time we cut this thing anyway.” </p><p>“Oh, sure, that’d be nice.” Dani offers a smile to Owen.</p><p>“Great, I’ll go get my jacket.” </p><p>“Jamie, are you fine clearing everyone out?” Hannah asks.</p><p>“You kidding?” Jamie get’s a mischievous glint in her eye, “It’s my favorite activity of any party.”</p><p>Jamie turns to Dani.</p><p>“Be safe, don’t go tripping on any invisible bumps.” Jamie winks at Dani, and walks off, and when the music shuts off and the lights turn on she can finally hear the way her heart had been pounding in her chest.</p><p>“You ready?” Owen’s returned with his and Hannah’s jackets, and Dani resists the urge to look back at Jamie one last time.</p><p>“Yeah,” She says.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“They’re pretty cute.” Viola says it in a way that Dani can’t quite read. “Don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Dani’s face burns bright red, and she’s starting to wonder if she can escape at least one conversation with this girl without turning into a walking disaster.</p>
<p>“No-I mean, I guess, but-” Dani tries to laugh out the awkwardness, resetting her brain to normal mode for just a second. She lets out a breath, “They’re not really my type.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s noon by the time Dani starts feeling like a real human again. </p>
<p>After Owen and Hannah walked her back to her room on campus, she barely remembered to set her alarm before crashing right into bed.  Staying out that late when she had an 8 am probably wasn’t the <em> best </em>idea, but she had the most fun that she’s probably had since-</p>
<p>“Dani?”</p>
<p>She looks up from her textbook, nearly having to squint at the small bit of sun that catches her eye as it pokes out sharply from behind the person who called out her name.</p>
<p>“Viola?” Dani says, the name comes out as if the girl were a surprise. Which, Dani supposes she <em> is </em>a surprise considering the curt exit from last night. But still, she really needs to work on her people skills.</p>
<p>Viola sits down in the open seat at the table, and Dani feels impressed at how assertive Viola seems to be.</p>
<p>“Taking advantage of the nice day?” Viola asks. </p>
<p>Dani looks around at the quad, and she hadn’t realized how many people had gathered to hang out for the day. Students filled the grass with picnic blankets and the tables surrounding her are spilling over with people doing homework or just hanging out. On the grass next to her, two guys playing with a rugby ball tackle each other to the ground.</p>
<p>“Not as much as them, I guess,” she says, wincing when one comes up from the ground with a bloody nose.</p>
<p>“They’re pretty cute.” Viola says it in a way that Dani can’t quite read. “Don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Dani’s face burns bright red, and she’s starting to wonder if she can escape at least <em> one </em>conversation with this girl without turning into a walking disaster.</p>
<p>“No-I mean, I <em> guess</em>, but-” Dani tries to laugh out the awkwardness, resetting her brain to normal mode for just a second. She lets out a breath, “They’re not really my type.”</p>
<p>Viola’s eyebrows pop up, as if she found that piece of information interesting. At this point Dani’s positive this girl is flirting. She <em> has </em>to be.</p>
<p>“So, what are you doing out here all by-” Viola cuts herself off, eyes drifting upwards behind Dani. She smiles sweetly. “Hi, Hannah.”</p>
<p>Dani turns around, and Hannah barely spares her a glance before addressing Viola. </p>
<p>“Get home safely last night?” Hannah asks, and Dani knows her tone is almost <em> too </em>nice.</p>
<p>“No thanks to you,” Viola says, the smile still stuck on her face and her head cocking to the side.</p>
<p>Hannah scoffs, and Dani thinks it’s about time to shut down <em> whatever </em> this is.</p>
<p>“Okay!” Dani says, “Viola, we actually have to head to class, but it was nice talking to you again.”</p>
<p>Dani closes her textbook and puts it in her bag, standing up from the table. Viola’s entire demeanor changes once again while addressing Dani.</p>
<p>“We should get coffee sometime,” Viola says. “Maybe have a conversation last longer than five minutes.”</p>
<p>Dani hears Hannah clear her throat behind her, and Dani sends her back a, <em> what? </em>, look.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that would be fun,” Dani says, scrambling to find a piece of paper in her backpack.</p>
<p>“Just put your number in here,” Viola extends her phone out, Dani pausing the rummaging in backpack in a huff because <em> of course. </em>They have cellphones.</p>
<p>“Right,” Dani says, attempting laughter as a way to mask her increasing embarrassment around this girl. </p>
<p>“Dani, we’re gonna be late for class,” Hannah says, and Dani gives her another silent look because they actually have ten minutes before they’re no longer substantially <em> early </em> for class, and this is the first time a girl has shown interest in her let alone a <em> hot </em> one.</p>
<p>“There.” Dani hands the phone back to Viola, “See you later, Viola!”</p>
<p>“Bye,” Viola says directly to Dani, not even sparing Hannah a glance as she gets up to leave in the other direction. As Hannah and Dani walk toward their lecture hall, Hannah seems to wait until they’re completely out of earshot to speak.</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t hang out with her.”</p>
<p>Dani’s eyebrows furrow. She’d really like to know what’s so bad about Viola.</p>
<p>“Were you guys friends or something?” Dani asks. </p>
<p>“She..” Hannah drifts off, “She’s just trouble, Dani.”</p>
<p>Dani ponders that for a second. She can definitely tell Viola is a little spunky, but she does suppose Hannah would know her better.</p>
<p>“Look,” Hannah starts, “I’m not going to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, but I know Viola. She’s bad news.”</p>
<p>Dani nods, not sure how to respond to that. She appreciates Hannah not trying to dictate her life, <em> she’s had enough of that</em>. But still, she feels a little bad just waving Viola off because someone else said so. She hates not giving someone a chance.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the heads up,” Dani decides to say. Hannah smiles at her and the tension in the air is gone.</p>
<p>“Did you do the reading?” Hannah asks, “Rebecca said there might be a pop quiz.”</p>
<p>“<em>Shit!” </em></p>
<p>—</p>
<p>After a grueling pop quiz that Dani was <em> definitely </em>prepared for, the sky is darker and there’s a bit of bite to the 4 pm air. Three-hour long lectures on French literature that she’s never going to use when she teaches elementary english shouldn’t be allowed. They just shouldn’t be. </p>
<p>Hannah sighs next to her, breathing in the chill air.</p>
<p>“Me and Owen have to run and get some things from the shop before dinner,” Hannah says, “Want to meet at our place in a little bit?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s fine.” Dani crosses her arms as a light breeze blows through, “What time should I come over?”</p>
<p>Hannah checks her watch. It amuses Dani that Hannah even wears a watch.</p>
<p>“Meet at ours in an hour?”</p>
<p>Dani nods, a genuine smile stretching across her face as she and Hannah wave bye. The evening sky is becoming a darker shade of blue, and she can’t help but shiver as another gust of wind goes by. One day she’ll remember not to trust the London weather. Until then, she supposes she’ll just have to suffer. Back in Iowa, thick skin was a necessity. The cold hadn’t bothered her much growing up, but Belmont...it drained her of warmth.</p>
<p>As she turns a corner onto her street, her phone buzzes in her pocket. Eddie has impeccable timing. She opens the text, another desperate attempt for Dani to facetime him, but she ignores it. All she wants is one day of freedom from <em> whatever </em> this is. </p>
<p>She kicks a fallen leaf before heading up the stairs to her building’s entrance. It’s pretty old, but more than she expected from what little she knew about housing at the university. Her room is on the first floor, and although she could’ve dealt with a better view than the literal <em> street </em>, she’s still thankful she even has a private room. </p>
<p>It’s small, but it’s <em> hers </em>and she can just exist there.</p>
<p>She thinks about her dorm back at Belmont, how for so many years it <em> was </em>a safe place where she and her friends would spend hours decorating and having movie nights. How she had taken something as basic as friendship for granted and how it all was ripped from her almost overnight. </p>
<p>She looks out onto the London street, the sidewalk packed with people rushing home for the day. She can breathe here. </p>
<p>The phone buzzes again, and frustratedly she pulls it out, only to find a text from an unknown number. She opens it. <em> Viola</em>.</p>
<p><b>Viola (4:19 PM): </b>Hey, Dani. This is Vi. It was really nice seeing you again today. You free this weekend?</p>
<p>Dani gets a feeling in her stomach that she doesn’t think she’s felt since her and Eddie were in middle school. <em> Butterflies? </em> She feels ridiculous, really, but she’s smiling too hard to care. A girl is interested in her. A <em> hot </em>one. </p>
<p>She goes to type an easy yes, but Hannah’s words stop her in her tracks. She tries to think of what Viola could have done that would be so bad. She thinks back to her own girl drama, the stupid fights and the falling outs. It’s all petty in the end. She sends the text.</p>
<p><b>Dani (4:25 PM): </b>Yes! How are you for Sunday?</p>
<p><b>Viola (4:27 PM): </b>The Lord’s day? Love it. I can pick you up at 1. </p>
<p>Dani doesn’t realize she’s laughing out loud until another text from Eddie comes rolling in, a staunch, <em> Hello?</em>, and it wipes the smile off of her face. She has half a mind to just block him, but there’s something that stops her every time. </p>
<p>She shakes her head, hoping the physical motion will somehow erase the feeling that’s washed over her, but she gets <em> another </em>text, this one from Hannah, and it’s asking if she’s left yet. </p>
<p>She suddenly feels a sense of calm. She’s making new friends here. Friends that care about her and invite her places. She could’ve gone without a phone her last few months at Belmont and it wouldn’t have mattered. Her friends wouldn’t have been asking for her, no one would have been coming up to her, asking her out on dates just because. She wouldn’t have even been at parties. </p>
<p>Now her phone is blowing up and it’s <em> not </em>because of Eddie. She smiles as she grabs her coat. </p>
<p>—</p>
<p>It’s basically dark by the time she reaches Hannah’s place, even though it’s only a fifteen minute walk tops. </p>
<p>She’s always loved how the sun seems to disappear quicker later in the year, making more time for <em> cozy nights </em> spent in, but ever since most of her winters have been in Nashville and <em> not </em> Iowa, she’s been missing that fall-winter spark. The holiday season isn’t the same when it’s <em> sixty-two </em> degrees outside. She has to wonder if leaving the warmth of Nashville at all was worth it when a big gust of wind blows through her just as she reaches the complex door. She shivers through the entryway.</p>
<p>She’s not surprised that when she heads up to the apartment, Jamie is the one to open the door, but she is surprised to hear about Hannah and Owen’s delayed arrival time. </p>
<p>“Hannah called and said they forgot a few ingredients,” Jamie says, pouring a mug of tea at the island. “Maybe they were too busy going at it again to look up a working recipe.”</p>
<p>Jamie speaks again before Dani can respond, “Do you want some?”</p>
<p>“Please,” Dani says, offering Jamie a smile. “I could use a warm up.”</p>
<p>Jamie smirks. </p>
<p>“You Americans not used to this type of a chill, huh?”</p>
<p>“I <em> used </em> to be,” Dani explains, “I grew up in the midwest so it got pretty damn cold. My college is in the south though, so I think I’ve lost some of that thick skin.”</p>
<p>Jamie hands her a mug and pulls milk out of the fridge, sliding it onto the counter next to the sugar. Dani is aimlessly pouring what she <em> thinks </em>is a decent amount into her tea and some sugar (why not?), when Jamie’s sudden laugh breaks her concentration. </p>
<p>“You don’t make tea often, do you?”</p>
<p>Dani smiles sheepishly. </p>
<p>“We’re more of coffee drinkers in America,” she says, “Although I’m not sure my coffee-making skills are any better.”</p>
<p>Jamie reaches across the small island, patting Dani’s shoulder with a wink. </p>
<p>“We’ll get you there one day.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs and takes a sip of her tea. It’s not <em> that </em>bad. </p>
<p>“Do you know how long Hannah and Owen are gonna be?”</p>
<p>Jamie checks her phone. </p>
<p>“Hannah texted and said they left about five minutes ago so probably only twenty or so. Not too long,” Jamie says. </p>
<p>Dani nods, taking a quick look around the kitchen. It looks pretty well-loved for college students. </p>
<p>“How long have the three of you been living here?”</p>
<p>Jamie looks up at the ceiling, seeming to be working her brain through the math.</p>
<p>“Me and Hannah were placed together first year, ended up getting on so we moved in here second year. This is Owen’s first year living here.”</p>
<p>Dani recalls the number of bedroom doors. Three. </p>
<p>“This must’ve been a pretty big place for you and Hannah to split alone at first.” she says, trying not to sound as curious as she feels. </p>
<p>“We had a third roommate for that year, but-“ Jamie cuts herself off, and Dani can tell she’s being careful about her wording. “Bad seed, was all.”</p>
<p>From Jamie’s tight lipped smile to her newly tense posture, Dani can tell the question must’ve struck a chord. </p>
<p>“I had a <em> crazy </em>roommate my freshman year,” Dani says, trying to lighten the mood. “I tried everything I could to switch rooms, but it was like the entire campus had been overbooked or something. Longest year of my life.”</p>
<p>The quirk of Jamie’s eyebrows makes Dani feel a bit better for her potentially too invasive question. </p>
<p>“Really?” Jamie asks, clearly interested in the crazy roommate. “What was she like?”</p>
<p>Dani laughs to herself recalling this girl, although at the time it was one of the worst experiences she’d ever had. </p>
<p>“For starters, she was a <em> musical theater </em> major,” Dani says, and Jamie’s already got her notorious smirk back. </p>
<p>“That’s a recipe for disaster right there.”</p>
<p>“At first she seemed super normal, and we actually hung out the first few nights before we got to know other people. I had noticed that every time we went to eat she drank chocolate milk-“</p>
<p>Dani’s sentence is cut off by her phone ringing, which should have been on silent, and when she looks at it the name reads Eddie, so she turns it back on silent and places the phone down on the counter, ignoring the call. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” Dani laughs. </p>
<p>“I believe we were about to do a deep dive into a very interesting chocolate milk conspiracy,” Jamie says, a wide smile on her face. </p>
<p>“Right,” Dani says. “So she ordered chocolate milk at every place we went to. And initially that was fine, some people like soda too much, right?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess.”</p>
<p>“So I didn’t think anything of it. Then one night I’m in the dorm doing my homework, and this is still in our first week, and she comes back from grocery shopping.”</p>
<p>“Oh no,” Jamie says. </p>
<p>“She has like five cases of chocolate milk with her. The bottles, not the cartons,” Dani says, “They were so big she had to use a bin to wheel them up-“</p>
<p>Dani’s phone goes off <em> again</em>, the loud vibration against the counter still doing enough to interrupt her story. </p>
<p>“You sure you don’t need to take that?” Jamie asks, a look of concern on her face. </p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Dani says, pressing ignore on the call, but once she does, it immediately starts ringing again. </p>
<p>She racks her brain for what could be so important that Eddie of all people has to be the one calling her, but she has a feeling he’s not going to stop and she’s actually starting to get concerned that there’s an emergency. </p>
<p>“I’ll just take it, I’m sorry,” Dani says, standing, “I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>Jamie waves her off, understanding. </p>
<p>“I’ll start the oven for Owen.”</p>
<p>Dani offers a small smile, moving away from the kitchen and through the apartment door, settling in the hallway outside the apartment. She sighs deeply before answering the phone.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“What the <em> hell</em>, Dani?”</p>
<p>Eddie’s angry voice ringing out nearly makes her flinch, and her eyebrows furrow a bit, a frustrated expression settling into her face. <em> How many times is he going to put her through this? </em></p>
<p>“What?” she feigns innocence, and she knows it’s a little mean of her, but she’s tired of showing him mercy.</p>
<p>“You know what. You’ve been ignoring my texts for the last day!” </p>
<p>His voice booms loudly from the phone, she swears she can feel the vibrations on the side of her face. </p>
<p>“I’ve been busy.”</p>
<p>Her response is short, but she’s just <em> tired</em>. She’s been running in circles around him for the last four months and she’s not sure how much longer she can take. </p>
<p>“I-We have a commitment, Dani,” Eddie's voice is nicer, but his frustration seeps through. </p>
<p>“Eddie, you know that’s not true.” She <em> knows </em> he does.</p>
<p>“We talked about this-”</p>
<p>“No, I said it’s over and you won’t let it go.”</p>
<p>“Because I don’t want to just throw away everything we spent so much time building!”</p>
<p>“You probably should’ve thought about that four months ago, Ed.” </p>
<p>She hears him huff on the other end of the phone and she nearly does the same.</p>
<p>“That’s not fair,” Eddie says. </p>
<p>“You weren’t fair either!” She can feel her eyes get hot, a sign that she needs the conversation to end, “Look-I’m busy right now, can we do this another time?”</p>
<p>“What are you doing lately that you’re too busy to have a conversation with me?”</p>
<p>“I have a social life, you know.”</p>
<p>“Seriously?”</p>
<p>“What, am I not allowed to have friends, Eddie? Has it gotten to that?”</p>
<p>She hears him sigh, and she knows where his mind is going. </p>
<p>“We’ve talked about this, Dani, it’s just not n-”</p>
<p>“Normal? Okay. Yeah, right. I’m hanging up now. Bye.”</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath, her head lightly hitting the wall of the hallway as she leans back against it. </p>
<p>She shouldn’t let him control her life like this. She <em> knows </em>she shouldn’t but...</p>
<p>“Hey,” Jamie’s voice rings out, the door to the apartment now open, “Everything good out here? I heard some yelling.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s just my boy-” Dani cuts herself off, “<em>Ex</em>. He’s my ex-boyfriend.”</p>
<p>Jamie nods, a distinct look of understanding on her face.</p>
<p>“Bad relationship?”</p>
<p>Dani Sighs.</p>
<p>“We just weren’t the right fit,” Dani shakes her head, unable to contain the frustration that’s been wearing her thin for months. “I didn’t realize that for a <em> long </em>time, so he’s having trouble understanding that now.”</p>
<p>Jamie eyes her, and Dani feels nervous when she can’t quite read her expression. Jamie seems to bite her words, shrugging before speaking.</p>
<p>“Well, if you need someone to rough him up, just let me know,” she says with a smirk. “I’ve got a pretty far reach.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Dani gives her a tight lipped smile, running her hands over her face. She lets out an exasperated laugh, “Exes, right?”</p>
<p>“Don’t I know it,” Jamie winks. She gestures back into the apartment, “Come on. I want to hear more about this chocolate milk fiend.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“So you woke up at <em> three </em>in the morning to her just chugging one down?”</p>
<p>“Yes! And she saw me!”</p>
<p>“Wait,” Jamie’s blinks in surprise, “She <em> saw </em>you?”</p>
<p>“Guess what she did next.”</p>
<p>“Do I even want to know?”</p>
<p>“She <em> offered </em>me one.”</p>
<p>“No,” Jamie says, a look of terror on her face. “Really?”</p>
<p>Dani nods. She visibly cringes at the memory.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know what to do so I just tried to act like I was still sleeping!”</p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Jamie says, slightly frowning at the kitchen table they’ve taken up. “I don’t know if I’d be able to look at chocolate milk the same again.”</p>
<p>“I have to say I wasn’t much of a chocolate milk drinker before then but I certainly am not now.”</p>
<p>They both burst into laughter, and when it tapers off, they settle into a comfortable silence. Dani looks up and they lock eyes for a brief moment. Dani feels nerves settle into her stomach when Jamie looks as if she’s about to say something a little more serious, but suddenly Hannah and Owen are bursting through the door and the moment is interrupted.</p>
<p>“Are you two ready for the best lasagna you’ve ever had?” Owen’s voice booms through the apartment, pulling Dani and Jamie’s gaze as he drops the giant bag of groceries on the counter.</p>
<p>“You get everything you need?” Jamie asks. There’s a slight tease to her tone, and Dani begins to wonder if this is another set up by Hannah, but her friend is already too busy rushing around pulling out supplies to find Dani’s questioning glare. </p>
<p>She tucks it away for questioning later when Owen begins cooking, Hannah directing the conversation to talking about how <em> awful </em>their lit professor is. </p>
<p>That pulls Dani right in, momentarily forgetting about the potential interference of her love life.</p>
<p>They move into stories about terrible professors as the lasagna cooks, and by the time it’s ready they’re all talking comfortably at the kitchen table. Dani feels right at home.</p>
<p>“So, Dani,” Owen says, taking a bite of his food,” What’s university like in America?”</p>
<p>She furrows her eyebrows, taking a sip of water. </p>
<p>“What, like in general?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, is there anything that’s different?”</p>
<p>She tries to think of anything glaringly obvious. </p>
<p>“I guess London is a pretty big city compared to where I was,” she says. “The party scene wasn’t too great either.”</p>
<p>“So what did you guys do for fun then?” Hannah asks.</p>
<p>Dani thinks back to her weekends at Belmont. It was a lot of brunches and apple picking and <em> girls' nights. </em>Of course they found time to drink and do stupid college things, but when all of her friends started rushing for sororities and their boyfriends started running for student government she just felt so out of place. It was all so proper. She’s not proper. </p>
<p>“I guess we’d go to bars sometimes when we could get in,” Dani says, “Oh! In the fall we’d go apple picking a lot.”</p>
<p>The three brits seem to mull over the answer for a second, Owen humming in content.</p>
<p>“I’m sure the fresh apples were a plus.”</p>
<p>Jamie snorts.</p>
<p>“Did you guys take photos in the pumpkin patch too?”</p>
<p>Dani’s face burns red.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” she mumbles. Okay. Those trips weren’t <em> that </em>bad. </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” Jamie laughs into her drink, and Dani eyes her. The way she smiles and shakes her head in disbelief at Dani’s previous social life brings a warm feeling to her stomach, shitty afternoon be damned. </p>
<p>“Sounds like we need to show you a good time,” Hannah says. </p>
<p>“Well what do you guys do for fun?” Dani asks, “Besides throwing ragers every three days.”</p>
<p>“It’s not that often!” Owen says defensively. He thinks for a moment before turning to Hannah. “Is it?”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“We’ll all walk you home,” Hannah suggests, “It’s turned into a nice night. Gotta get the most out of this weather before it turns.”</p>
<p>If Hannah thinks this is nice, Dani doesn’t want to know what Hannah thinks is <em> not </em>nice. </p>
<p>“I appreciate it guys, really.” Dani says. Jamie gives a confused but content smile before shrugging on her coat. </p>
<p>“What are friends for?”</p>
<p>They head out of the apartment complex and onto the street. They settle into a comfortable pace, Owen and Hannah a few paces behind Dani and Jamie as they walk. They’re huddled close together, and Dani can’t tell if it’s another one of Hannah’s “ploys” to leave Dani with Jamie or if she and Owen are just that into each other. </p>
<p>“It’s maddening isn’t it?” </p>
<p>Dani tears her gaze away from Hannah and Owen to Jamie, who’s looking at her with curious eyes. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Dani asks. </p>
<p>“Most couples like that are truly sickening,” Jamie jokes, “But those two just make you feel like a loser for being single.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs. She definitely wishes she had any semblance of what they have. Maybe things would be different. </p>
<p>“Makes me wonder what I’ve been doing wrong,” Dani says. It’s mostly a joke, and she hopes it comes across that way.</p>
<p>She watches Jamie’s eyebrows furrow. </p>
<p>“Hey,” she says,”From what I can tell, your ex is a total douche. That’s nothing on you. You got that?”</p>
<p>“I-“ Dani pauses her words. She <em> knows </em> some of it is her fault. For not telling him sooner or maybe just leading him on but she also knows it’s not her fault that he can’t leave well enough alone. <em> He’s </em>the one dragging this out. Not her. </p>
<p>“-I, yeah you’re right.” Dani nods her head to herself. She’s done her part in ending the relationship, and she can be at fault for that if she needs to be. But if he can’t accept that then it’s on him.  </p>
<p>“Damn right I am,” Jamie says, a smirk taking over her face. </p>
<p>Dani hopes the slightly chilly air can hide some of the blush on her face. </p>
<p>“I really appreciate you helping me out earlier,” Dani blurts. “I just-not many people have seemed to be on my side about this.”</p>
<p>Jamie knocks Dani’s shoulder with her own, an easy smile taking hold of her face.</p>
<p>“It’s like I said earlier,” Jamie says. “What’re friends for?”</p>
<p>Dani ponders that thought again. Are her and Jamie friends now? She thinks back to one of the last conversations she had with her so-called friends. Without Edmund, <em> she </em>wasn’t a good look for them. </p>
<p>“I-I didn’t really have many friends back home. I mean I <em> did, </em>a pretty large group but just, after everything that happened...I don’t think they were ever really my friends.”</p>
<p>She’s worried she said too much when Jamie is silent for a moment, but she’s too fearful to check up on Jamie’s expression. She should have just said thanks, or said nothing, or-</p>
<p>“Look, I know we pretty much just met, but Hannah seems pretty fond of you, and anyone who’s cool with Hannah is cool with me,” Jamie says. Dani finally breaks her view of the concrete to look at Jamie’s face. Her eyes bore into Dani. “Anything you need. Evil boyfriends and all.”</p>
<p>Dani matches Jamie’s serious expression.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she says earnestly. Jamie nods, content, and they settle into the silence, only a few more minutes before they arrive at Dani’s dorm. Her phone buzzes in her back pocket, and she almost forgot she’d turned it back on at some point. The silence was blissful. She takes the chance to look at the notification and instead of the usual suspect, it’s from <em> snapchat. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> Viola added you as a friend! </em>
</p>
<p>Jamie takes notice, her voicing ringing out. </p>
<p>“That him again?”</p>
<p>Dani nearly fumbles with the phone, locking it quickly and placing it back in her pocket.</p>
<p>“Oh, no,” she says, letting out an awkward laugh. “Just my mom.”</p>
<p>She’s not sure why she lies. She knows she doesn’t have to anymore. Not about what’s on her phone or who she’s been texting. She doesn’t have to worry about Ed looking over her shoulder, going crazy about new friends she’s making or whether a hot girl wants to take her out to have coffee. But it rolls off the tongue and Jamie doesn’t question it.</p>
<p>“I bet the time zone change is tough,” she says.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, we didn’t talk that much before but this certainly hasn’t made it easier.” </p>
<p>When Jamie is quiet Dani feels the need to fill the silence. </p>
<p>“My life sounds like such a bummer, huh,” she says in a light tone, hoping the easiness of her voice can ease the awkwardness that she feels. They’re coming up on her building, and just when she thinks she’s completely ruined the mood <em> forever</em>, Jamie stills for a moment. Dani stops beside her. </p>
<p>Owen and Hannah are somehow lightyears behind them, but the echo of their laughter bounces down the street, and it fills Dani with something unfamiliar. She looks back at Jamie, who’s watching her with an easy smile. </p>
<p>“I think your life is about to get a <em> lot </em>more exciting.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>long awaited! college is wearing me thin, but i hope you enjoyed! as always you can find me at daniclaytton on tumblr. thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun shines into Dani’s eyes for a moment as she rounds a corner of the busy London street. With the sun now in full view, she inwardly curses her decision to walk rather than take an uber. It’s the first warm day in weeks and it has to be the day she decides to walk three miles to a date? Not her smartest moment. Especially since it was colder when she left. </p>
<p>It’s <em>always</em> colder when you leave.</p>
<p>Her phone buzzes in her pocket and her heart swells when she sees Jamie’s name pop up on the screen. It’s just a reaction to a string of memes they’d been exchanging, but Dani can’t help the butterflies the exchange makes her feel. She tries to push it down. She can’t get a good read on Jamie, but the odds haven’t been looking too good for her in the romance category.</p>
<p>(And maybe Dani’s too afraid to clarify, but either way, she doesn’t want to risk potentially ruining a nice friendship between the four of them if Jamie really is just being a good <em>friend</em>.)</p>
<p>The bright sign of the coffee shop comes into view and she’s reminded that she’s actually about to be on a date with Viola. Viola who is forwardly interested in her. </p>
<p>She silences her phone and shoves it in her pocket. Panicking about Jamie while she’s on a date with Viola would certainly be a recipe for disaster. </p>
<p>(If someone had told her six months ago that she’d be in a situation like <em>this</em>, there’s no way Dani would have believed it.)</p>
<p>The sidewalk is less crowded as she approaches the entrance of the coffee shop, and she’s not shocked to find that the reason is the quickly populating line to enter it.</p>
<p>“Dani!”</p>
<p>Her head turns to the line, finding Viola not too far from the front of it. She smiles, walking towards her. </p>
<p>“I got here a little early to save us a spot,” Viola says, “Did you want to stay and sit or walk around?”</p>
<p>“It’s a lot nicer than I was expecting. I could go for a walk if you want.” She feels a little shyer now standing in front of Viola. Forgetting that she’s most decidedly already tired of walking, she welcomes the idea of giving her nerves some kind of outlet. Dani is still surprised a girl like <em>Viola</em> would be interested in her anyway. </p>
<p>(Any girl, really.)</p>
<p>“Perfect,” Viola smiles, and Dani finds the brightness of it infectious. </p>
<p>“This place seems pretty popular,” Dani says, gesturing to the coffee shop beside them. </p>
<p>“One of the busiest spots in town.” They both walk as the line moves further along, “I’m surprised you didn’t know about it. I always thought it was one of those places that people came to London specifically for.”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I didn’t do much research before deciding to come here.” She blushes a bit when Viola gives her a curious look, “I was pretty much all set for my next semester in the states but...some things happened, and this opportunity kind of fell into my lap. It felt like the perfect time to just go.”</p>
<p>Viola nods in understanding and the line moves again. The aroma of the shop is getting stronger and Dani is suddenly very excited for caffeine. </p>
<p>“Sometimes spontaneity is good for the soul. And out of all the places to choose on a whim, this certainly wasn’t the worst one.” Viola winks, and Dani can feel a nervousness enter her stomach. She looks to the ground for a second, trying to regain her composure before she makes a fool out of herself in front of a hot girl and 40 other coffee shop patrons.</p>
<p>“I’d have to agree,” she settles on. Her eyes drift through the window of the shop and she can see the bright energy of the inside. Customers with wide smiles and the loud chatter audible even from outside.</p>
<p>“It must be pretty fun to own a place like this,” she says. </p>
<p>“I bet,” Viola responds, leaning against the window. “What are you studying?”</p>
<p>“English.” Dani says, “Not anything that will get close to owning a coffee shop.”</p>
<p>“Don’t they have those hybrid coffee shop-book stores?” </p>
<p>Not a bad idea, Viola. </p>
<p>“That’s a fair point,” Dani says with a laugh. “I’m actually concentrating in education though. I want to be a teacher.”</p>
<p>Viola seems to nod in recognition.</p>
<p>“A noble profession,” Viola says. The line shifts again and she easily bounces off her spot against the window. “My sister just started a teaching program actually.” </p>
<p>“Does she know what grade she wants to teach?” </p>
<p>“I’m trying to think of what it would be called in America,” Viola says. Dani almost gawks at the fact that a slight blush is appearing on Viola’s face. She savors it. “The grade where everyone is thirteen and ugly.”</p>
<p>Dani lets out a laugh. She hates how true it is. </p>
<p>“We call that middle school. The best of times and the absolute <em>worst</em> of times.”</p>
<p>“For the record, I was hot in middle school.” </p>
<p>Dani laughs at that. The line shifts again and she can’t help but bite her lip as they move forward. </p>
<p>“I believe it,” she says, giving Viola a sly look. Though before she loses a downhill battle in a flirting contest, Dani changes the subject. “What are you studying?”</p>
<p>“Business,” Viola says. Her tone is flippant, and it makes Dani curious about her intentions with it. </p>
<p>“You don’t sound too enthused.” </p>
<p>Viola sighs, and Dani likes seeing more of her than just the brief small talk they’ve only been able to exchange. The intimidatingly hot girl that her friend seems to hate actually has a personality beyond being the intimidatingly hot girl that her friend seems to hate. It’s early in the date, but Dani’s already glad she decided to give Viola a chance.</p>
<p>“It’s a broad field and full of men,” she explains. “I guess I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with it.” </p>
<p>The line moves up and it’s enough for them to enter through the doorway into the shop. </p>
<p>“Maybe I’ll open a coffee place one day,” Viola jokes. </p>
<p>“Hey, the caffeine business is a moneymaker!” </p>
<p>“Speaking of,” Viola says, “Do you have a usual order? My treat.” </p>
<p>“Oh, thank you,” Dani blushes, a small smile creeping on her face. She takes a moment to look at the menu, but decides to stick with what she knows. “A vanilla latte would be perfect.” </p>
<p>“Their vanilla is to die for. You’re gonna love it.”</p>
<p>“What are you getting?” Dani asks. </p>
<p>“I was thinking about a long black,” Viola says. Dani’s eyes widen a bit before she laughs. </p>
<p>“Okay, <em>crazy person</em>.”</p>
<p>Viola turns from the menu to Dani. </p>
<p>“What?” She questions, a small laugh escaping her. </p>
<p>“Nothing.” Dani feigns her innocence, “I just should’ve guessed you’d be the type to enjoy black coffee is all.” </p>
<p>“Hear me out,” Viola pleads. Dani finds it cute how ready Viola is to defend black coffee. </p>
<p>“I’m listening.”</p>
<p>“Black coffee tastes good if you get a good brew. It’s going to taste like actual shit if it’s from a home machine. But I’ll pay good money for a quality cup of black brew.”</p>
<p>Dani attempts a straight face, albeit failing miserably. </p>
<p>“Didn’t know I was on a date with a connoisseur.”</p>
<p>“I guess we’re going to have to spend a lot more time together then.” Viola winks, and before Dani can respond it’s their turn to order. She chokes down her nerves as Viola speaks to the cashier. </p>
<p>It reminds her of going out with Eddie, and how later in their relationship he just assumed what she wanted. He’d order what she used to like instead of asking what she wanted to try. She never had the heart to tell him that things change. </p>
<p>“Let’s wait over here.” Viola’s voice interrupts her thoughts, and she places a gentle hand on Dani’s back as they squeeze through some of the crowd to the smaller waiting area. It sends chills down her spine. </p>
<p>Things <em>change</em>. </p>
<p>—</p>
<p>“No really. We were sitting in class debating over the functionality of a woman wearing a dress in the workplace versus a pantsuit.” </p>
<p>Dani rolls her eyes, the thought of sitting in a business class and talking about “appropriate feminine attire” would probably be the worst activity on the planet. She takes a sip of the coffee that’s now lukewarm in her hand. She narrowly avoids a cyclist that buzzes past them on the path; the park they’d made it to is full of other people seemingly also taking advantage of the nice day.</p>
<p>“How you didn’t punch someone is beyond me,” she says. </p>
<p>“This guy said that women should wear dresses solely based on tradition,” Viola says, her disgust visible. “I ripped the professor such a new one in the class evaluation that semester that he actually had to issue an apology to his entire student registry.”</p>
<p>“Wow.” Dani laughs, almost sadistically, “If anything like that happened at my school I’m pretty sure they’d just sweep it under the rug.”</p>
<p>The statement sends Viola’s curiosity back on Dani.</p>
<p>“Where is your school? I don’t think I asked.”</p>
<p>“It’s in Tennessee. It could be worse but, not that many people are in the business of standing up for women’s rights there. At least not publicly.”</p>
<p>“I could imagine. Are you at least finding a little more social nuance in the great kingdom?” Viola says, gesturing to the area around them.</p>
<p>“Oh, <em>definitely</em>,” Dani says. “I-“</p>
<p>“Dani?”</p>
<p>Her attention shifts from Viola to the voice calling out behind her, turning around to find it belongs to-</p>
<p>“Owen?” she says, surprised. </p>
<p>“Owen.” Viola says his name almost at the exact same time, albeit with a little<br/>more disdain. </p>
<p>“Viola.” Owen replies, sounding a little hesitant. </p>
<p>“What’re you doing here?” Dani asks, smiling at the unexpected presence of her friend. She eyes Viola beside her for a second and can see that tenseness from their shared interactions with Hannah return. It makes her curious. </p>
<p>“Just getting some running in to start off the week.” </p>
<p>“Sounds fun,” Dani says. </p>
<p>“Funny running into you here. Oh, no pun intended,” He laughs awkwardly, and Dani just nods encouragingly. “I mean, Hannah mentioned you two had hung out, but-“ Owen rambles on, and Viola seems to grow more irritated. </p>
<p>“I’m sure she did.”</p>
<p>“Right, well,” Owen clears his throat, obviously trying to stay cordial, “I’ll let you guys get back to...this. Dani, I’m sure I’ll see you this week.” </p>
<p>“For sure,” Dani says, sending Owen a genuine smile. “Talk later, Owen. Have a good run!” </p>
<p>“Will do.” He nods, pausing for a moment before awkwardly deciding to bid Viola a farewell as well, “See you around, Viola.”</p>
<p>“Goodbye, Owen.” She says in a sickeningly sweet tone, and Dani would probably think it was hot if she didn’t fear for Owen’s heart rate currently. She sends him one last wave as they turn in opposite directions.  </p>
<p>“Do they follow you around?” Viola says, not even waiting to be out of earshot. There’s a hint of annoyance in her tone, but with Owen gone, she’s much more relaxed and Dani can tell that most of it is playful rather than serious. </p>
<p>Dani laughs. </p>
<p>“It’s a small city?”</p>
<p>“Right.” Viola scoffs. </p>
<p>Dani tries to hold it in, but curiosity gets the better of her. </p>
<p>“Can I ask,” she starts, not quite sure how to form the question, “Was there...did you guys have a falling out or something?”</p>
<p>“Hannah didn’t tell you anything?”</p>
<p>Dani shakes her head. She doesn’t miss the way Viola looks a little shocked at that bit of information. </p>
<p>“Let’s just say that dating girls is a sin for a reason, Dani.”</p>
<p>Dani’s eyebrows shoot up. <em>Hannah and Viola?</em></p>
<p>The tension would make sense, but wouldn’t Hannah have said something? That’s like the first violation of girl code. She pushes it in the back of her mind to ask Hannah about later. She’s not going to press it now. </p>
<p>“I-I wouldn't really know. This is my first time on a date with a girl,” Dani admits. She avoids eye contact with Viola, in fear of her blush actually catching on fire this time around. </p>
<p>Before Dani knows what’s happening, Viola’s hand is grasping hers. She looks at Viola to find a smirk set in place. </p>
<p>“Seems like we have some work to do then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>idk guys....vani is kind of cute....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why are you even awake right now?” </p>
<p>Dani’s tone is sharp as she braces against a light gust of wind. Autumn has <em>officially</em> hit London. Eddie sighs on the other end of the phone. She can’t help but roll her eyes. </p>
<p>“Dani, it’s barely ten. I’m not a child.”</p>
<p><em>You sure act like one.</em> </p>
<p>The words linger in her mouth and she wants to say them, to escalate beyond repair so she can finally be done with him once and for all, but something stops her. Something <em>always</em> stops her. </p>
<p>“Okay,” she drawls, “So why are you calling me?”</p>
<p>It’s silent across the line. </p>
<p>“Eddie.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Okay, I’m hanging up now-”</p>
<p>“Wait!”</p>
<p>“What?” She nearly spits it out. </p>
<p>“I miss you.”</p>
<p>She stops in her tracks in the middle of the sidewalk and a body slams into the back of her, the coffee she was holding slamming into the ground in front of her.</p>
<p>“Watch where you’re going, lady!”</p>
<p>She notes the American accent that escapes the man and rolls her eyes. Of <em>course</em>. </p>
<p>“Fuck!” She mutters under her breath. </p>
<p>“Dani? Are you okay?” Eddie’s voice faintly comes out of her cell phone, luckily still in her hand.</p>
<p>“Eddie, can I call you back?”</p>
<p>“Will you actually?”</p>
<p>“Ed-” Dani tries to pick up the coffee cups, doing her best not to make more of a mess than there already is.</p>
<p>“We need to talk about this.”</p>
<p>“No, I can’t keep saying this,” She piles the mess into the carrying carton and stands up, pausing next to the trash can. “I broke up with you, Eddie. It’s done. I can’t keep going around in circles with you!”</p>
<p>“Give me another chance, Dani, I swear-” </p>
<p>“I don’t want to!” She tosses the coffee cups, grateful that it at least didn’t get on her clothes.</p>
<p>“You don’t mean that.”</p>
<p>She feels a pang at the tone of his voice, and a part of her wants to just give in, go back to the way things were. They were picture perfect. Everything was amazing. <em>Was</em>. </p>
<p>“You hurt me, Eddie,” She says. “A lot.” She starts heading back down the street, suddenly self-conscious that she’s having this kind of conversation out in the open. </p>
<p>He’s silent on the other end. She watches the crowd of hurrying Londoners pass her by, oblivious to the mental turmoil she’s going through. If she weren’t so genuinely upset about losing her coffee, she might even find it comical.</p>
<p>“Look–I have to go do something but I promise I will call you when I can. Okay?” Dani says.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Eddie sighs, “Bye, Dani.”</p>
<p>She hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath. She feels the familiar sting of tears in her eyes but wills them away as she nears closer to Hannah’s apartment complex. He is not the be all and end all. </p>
<p>She’s fucking <em>22</em>. </p>
<p>Her phone buzzes with a text from Hannah as she’s walking through the door, but she ignores it as she closes in on the apartment. She knocks when she gets there, bouncing on her feet a little as the jitters from her phone call subside. </p>
<p>She knocks roughly on the door and it swings open. Hannah’s face is excited at first, but it falls when she notices Dani’s empty hands. </p>
<p>“I thought you were getting coffee?”</p>
<p>“I did,” Dani says, “It’s laying on the ground outside your building.”</p>
<p>Hannah frowns for a moment.</p>
<p>“Do you need me to make some tea?”</p>
<p>“I think that would be good, yeah.”</p>
<p>Dani follows Hannah into the apartment and settles into a seat at the counter as Hannah gets a kettle out.</p>
<p>“So, how did my coffee end up on the streets of London?” </p>
<p>“My ex-boyfriend gave me a surprise phone call on the way over, “ Dani says.</p>
<p>“I take it didn’t go very well.”</p>
<p>“No,” Dani lets out a breathy laugh.</p>
<p>“You know, you haven’t told me very much about what happened.” Hannah’s tone is sly, and Dani admires her inherent ability to be sneaky but sincere at the same time. </p>
<p>Dani nods and takes a breath. Does she really want to get into all of that? How she told her boyfriend that she might like girls too so he went and told all of their friends and effectively got her ousted from their entire friend group in under twenty-four hours?</p>
<p>“It’s still kind of fresh,” she admits. “He betrayed my trust in a way that I’m not sure I want to forgive him for.”</p>
<p>Hannah nods thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.” Hannah slides Dani’s tea carefully over to her before pouring her own.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Hannah.” She smiles up at Hannah and it’s genuine. Her mind drifts back to her old friend group. They were always so concerned with themselves. Dani can barely remember a moment where anyone ever cared to ask about how <em>she</em> was doing. She can’t believe she lived like that for so long. She’s grateful to have friends who care about her now.</p>
<p>She takes a sip of the tea, and her eyes widen just a bit. Friends who care about her <em>and</em> who know how to make amazing cups of tea.</p>
<p>“Hannah, this is <em>so</em> good,” she says.</p>
<p>“Owen’s mum’s secret recipe,” Hannah admits. "I can’t take all the credit.”</p>
<p>“Still,” Dani says. </p>
<p>“So..” Hannah leans over the island, “How did your date with Viola go?”</p>
<p>Dani’s eyebrows perk up and she actually gets a bit flustered at the thought of Viola. She was a lot sweeter than Dani was expecting, but she can’t stop the nagging in the back of her mind that something feels off. She remembers Viola’s mutual disdain for Hannah, a question forming in the back of her mind.</p>
<p>“It was fun,” she says. “But I actually wanted to ask you something.”</p>
<p>“This’ll be good.”</p>
<p>Dani rolls her eyes playfully, choosing her words carefully.</p>
<p>“What was your...<em>experience</em> with Viola?” she says.</p>
<p>“My experience?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean like-”</p>
<p>“Honestly?” Hannah asks.</p>
<p>“Your honest experience.”</p>
<p>“Dani..” Hannah sighs. “In my experience, she’s manipulative, obsessive and if I’m being <em>honest</em>–she’s a raging bitch. And she drinks black coffee. Who the fuck drinks black coffee, Dani?”</p>
<p>“Fair point,” she mumbles. “I just want to make sure it’s not a problem that we went on a date.”</p>
<p>It’s at that point that the front door slams shut and Jamie comes in through the kitchen.</p>
<p>“A date?” She sends Dani a cheeky smile, “Who’s the lucky chap?” </p>
<p>“Oh, actually–” Dani’s voice trails off, noticing a frantic Hannah miming behind Jamie. “H-his name was Peter. Peter. Well, <em>is</em>, his name is Peter. And he had come up to me out of the blue and when I mentioned him to Hannah, she seemed to know him.”</p>
<p>“Not <em>Rebecca’s </em>Peter?” Jamie says it like it’s scandalous, turning to Hannah with a surprised expression.</p>
<p>“It <em>was</em>.” Hannah feigns, sending a grimace to Jamie.</p>
<p>“Oh, Dani.” Jamie laughs, turning to Dani, “You really dodged a bullet with that one, I’ll tell ya.”</p>
<p>“Not a fan?”</p>
<p>Jamie looks at Dani like she’s crazy. </p>
<p>“I don’t know how much Hannah told you, but he’s probably one of the worst people to ever walk the planet,” Jamie says. “Stay away from that man.”</p>
<p>“Yes, ma’am,” Dani jokes.</p>
<p>Hannah gives her a look. “<em>That</em> was easy, huh.”</p>
<p>It’s obvious that Hannah is referencing her telling Dani to stay away from Viola, and Dani can;t help but blush. She’s weary at Hannah being so quick to lie to Jamie, but she trusts Hannah’s instinct. If Viola was Hannah’s ex then Dani assumes it doesn’t really matter that much anyway. She lets it go.</p>
<p>“Guys, quick change of subject.” Jamie pulls their attention. “I was thinking you know, since Dani won’t be home for American Thanksgiving, we could have a little thing tomorrow evening. Have dinner.”</p>
<p><em>Thanksgiving</em>. Dani had nearly forgotten about it until now. </p>
<p>“That would be nice,” Hannah muses. “I am a bit perturbed by your use of a ‘little thing’ though.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Jamie says. “I was considering the idea that we could throw an absolute banger for after our small dinner.”</p>
<p>Hannah thinks for a moment, then shrugs.</p>
<p>“Why not.”</p>
<p>“Nice,” Jamie says, seemingly proud of herself. She backtracks when she notices Dani. “If that’s okay with you, Dani.”</p>
<p>“No-yeah that sounds fun guys.” Dani smiles, “I would like that.”</p>
<p>“It’s settled then,” Jamie says. </p>
<p>“We’re gonna need the usual load,” Hannah says.</p>
<p>“I’ve got it covered,” Jamie winks at Hannah, turning to grab a mug out of the cupboard. “Dani, maybe you could come with me to get stuff beforehand?”</p>
<p>Jamie’s back is turned when she poses the question and Hannah raises her eyebrows at Dani. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I can help,” Dani says. “I have class until three and then I’m at your service.”</p>
<p>Hannah snorts, and Dani looks at her. She playfully rolls her eyes and Dani sends her another glare. Suddenly Jamie turns around, and Dani and Hannah quickly busy themselves with their tea. </p>
<p>Jamie eyes them both before shaking her head. </p>
<p>“Fucking weirdos.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Class goes by slowly. There’s a mix of excitement and anxiety coursing through her system, and Dani’s having trouble latching onto the excitement. </p>
<p>She’d woken up to more text messages than she expected. The one from her mom wasn’t surprising and neither was the quick message from Viola. Surprisingly, Eddie’s name in the bold block letters at the top of the list didn’t phase her initially either. But now, his message is the only one she hasn’t opened yet. </p>
<p>It’s been sitting in her inbox all day, the red <em>1</em> haunting her every time she opens her phone.<br/>If she’s being honest, she does feel a bit somber about not spending the holiday with him. She’s spent thanksgiving with Eddie’s family for about as long as she can remember. Her mom was never very festive, but Eddie’s mom always went full out and her and Eddie would spend the evening hanging out or sneaking around while eavesdropping on the adult’s conversations. Some of her best memories are from holidays with him. Or they <em>were</em>, she supposes.</p>
<p>Now, it honestly makes her a little sad. </p>
<p>A little.</p>
<p>As the professor ends the class, she finds a little respite in the commotion interrupting her thoughts. She puts Eddie into the back of her mind like she always does and calls up Jamie as she walks out of the classroom. She finds a sudden comfort as Jamie’s voice rings out on the other end.</p>
<p>“Dani, hey, I’m parked right off the quad. Shouldn’t be too far from you.”</p>
<p>Dani quickly finds the beat-up truck. It’s a well-loved car, she can tell. Dani climbs in the passenger side and smiles at Jamie. </p>
<p>“How was class?” Jamie asks. </p>
<p>Dani can’t help but let out a huge sigh. </p>
<p>“I think it might actually be the most boring class I’ve ever taken,” Dani admits. “And I took two semesters worth of art history intro courses before I settled on teaching. So that’s saying a lot.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Jamie says, “Remind me to never take you to an art museum.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs and she sneaks a peek at Jamie, whose signature smirk is plastered across her face. It sends a warm feeling through her body in a way that she wishes would last forever. </p>
<p>“I can <em>admire</em> the art,” She says. “What I can’t do is sit in a three hour lecture where an old man shuts off the lights and narrates a slideshow from the <em>eighties</em> in the calmest voice you’ve ever heard. It drives even the strongest students to sleep.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take your word for it,” Jamie says, “Although I don’t think it could be much worse than plant taxonomy.”</p>
<p>“Plant taxonomy?”</p>
<p>“It’s like the animal kingdom but for grass.”</p>
<p>“Riveting,” Dani says. At that, Jamie looks over at her for a split second,  and she playfully rolls her eyes as she turns into the car park of the liquor store. </p>
<p>“Aren’t you going to have to teach little kids science?”</p>
<p>Dani laughs. </p>
<p>“The phases of the moon at <em>most</em>,” she says. </p>
<p>“Well, we’ll have to save the plant lesson for another time, unfortunately,” Jamie says, “Time to get the goods.”</p>
<p>A stash of beer and too many bottles of vodka later, they head back to the car. </p>
<p>“Could you grab that for me?” Jamie gestures towards the trunk. Dani pulls the handle and it opens with a rusted croak.</p>
<p>“How old is this thing?” </p>
<p>“She’s a ninety-four,” Jamie says, “Belonged to my dad.”</p>
<p>Dani nods, running a finger along some of the rusted paint on the trunk door.</p>
<p>“I’ve always wanted an older car,” Dani adds. “More personality.”</p>
<p>Jamie packs the load into the trunk and takes the door from Dani, shutting it with a heavy push.</p>
<p>“Upkeep’s more work than what it’s worth sometimes, but she’s a looker for sure.” Jamie looks around, “You ready?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dani says, and they both hop back into the car. </p>
<p>When Jamie pulls back onto the road, they quickly run into traffic. Dani shivers a bit, and upon noticing, Jamie turns up the heat.</p>
<p>“So, what do you normally do for thanksgiving?”</p>
<p>Dani sighs inwardly.</p>
<p>“I’ve gone to Eddie’s every year since we were kids.” she admits.</p>
<p>Jamie looks at her, an eyebrow raised. </p>
<p>“The boyfriend?”</p>
<p>Dani nods and steadies her vision on the passing scenery.</p>
<p>“You’ve got your whole life wrapped up with this kid, huh?”</p>
<p>Dani laughs at that.</p>
<p>“Pretty much.”</p>
<p>The engine revs as the car speeds back up again.</p>
<p>“Well,” Jamie drags on, “We’ll make some new memories tonight then, yeah?”</p>
<p>Dani looks over to Jamie, whose eyes are trained on the now-clear road. </p>
<p>“Yeah.” She agrees. Jamie shoots her a quick smile and settles into the drive. </p>
<p>“How are your classes going?”</p>
<p>“Really great actually,” Dani says. “Some of them are super boring sometimes but there’s no avoiding that. Classmates are a lot better here too.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Jamie huffs a little in disbelief. “Gonna have to tell my countrymen to give you a harder time. Can’t have Americans running amuck around our stomping grounds.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs at Jamie’s change in pace.</p>
<p>“Oh really?”</p>
<p>Jamie eyes her again as they pull up to a red light.</p>
<p>“Maybe we have room for one.” She winks and Dani blushes.</p>
<p>“How’s <em>ethnobotany</em> going?” Dani says, attempting to ward off the heat.</p>
<p>Jamie sighs.</p>
<p>“I’m in a lot of anthropology classes this term actually, not a lot of plant stuff going on,” Jamie says, “Just learning the history of different cultures.”</p>
<p>“Do you like it?”</p>
<p>“It’s great,” Jamie says, “Then again, anything is better than foraging through hiking trails trying to identify two identical pieces of grass on a Monday morning.”</p>
<p>Dani grimaces.</p>
<p>“You’ve done that?”</p>
<p>“Every week last term,” Jamie says, “I can now identify over fifty species of grass.”</p>
<p>“I don’t even want to know,” Dani says.</p>
<p>“You really don’t,” Jamie says, laughing. She’s silent for a moment then goes on, “Will you get to teach again this term?”</p>
<p>“No, I’ll get to next semester back in the US,” She explains, “You can do it abroad, but I wanted to take this experience for a normal semester, you know?”</p>
<p>“Makes sense,” Jamie says. “Have you taught at all yet? I remember you saying you worked with kids.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been working at a daycare in my hometown since high school. It’s a small town so this lady runs it out of her basement for all the neighborhood kids,” Dani explains. “I ended up babysitting for a lot of the parents on the side too.”</p>
<p>Jamie smirks as the apartment complex comes into view.</p>
<p>“A proper Mary Poppins in our midst, huh?”</p>
<p>Dani laughs, “Without the purse and the accent.” </p>
<p>Jamie parks the car.</p>
<p>“So you have the hat?” Jamie smirks, “I’d love to see that.”</p>
<p>Dani playfully shoves Jamie’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you would.” </p>
<p>Jamie laughs as she opens her car door. The cool air hits Dani harder than expected after sitting in the heat of the car for so long.</p>
<p>“C’mon,” Jamie says, “I’m ready to devour whatever masterpiece Owen’s prepared.”--</p>
<p>“You mean to tell me that every year your president pardons a <em>turkey</em>?” Owen says it incredulously as he stirs his stew on the stove. </p>
<p>Dani’s perched on the countertop, nursing a glass of wine. She laughs at Owen’s surprise.</p>
<p>“Every year.” She says. </p>
<p>He turns to her.</p>
<p>“What do they say, ‘sorry for murdering millions of your friends, but congratulations turkey, you get to live this year’?” </p>
<p>“Well when you put it like that,” Jamie pipes in.</p>
<p>“It is kind of morbid,” Hannah agrees, “To pardon a turkey and then go inside and eat one.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you all glad I decided to make a nice vegetarian stew to discuss turkey’s rights over?”</p>
<p>“It looks delicious, darling,” Hannah says, moving towards Owen.</p>
<p>Dani watches as Hannah wraps an arm around Owen. The gesture sends a fleeting feeling through her chest that she can only realistically categorize as jealous, but soon Jamie’s pointing a finger at them and fake gagging, and the feelings of envy are replaced with joy. </p>
<p>“C’mon,” Jamie says, “Help me set the table.”</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Dinner was fantastic. Dani’s still not sure whether or not she’d qualify it as a <em>Thanksgiving</em> celebration, but, even still, it’s probably the best one she’s ever had. She’d turned her phone off during dinner. No thoughts of Eddie, nothing about what she could be missing at home, not even the essay that she was supposed to hand in three hours ago.</p>
<p>(She’s not <em>perfect</em>.)</p>
<p>Then the guests started to arrive. She doesn’t know what changed and when, but sometime in between watching Jamie kick Peter out and Dani deciding to finally turn on her cellphone, her mood dipped. Low. Out of all the things in the world, he had to send her that. Her eyes gaze around the living room.</p>
<p>There are a lot of people packed into the apartment.</p>
<p>Dani’s standing in a familiar corner of the apartment, arms crossed as one hand latches onto her nearly empty bottle of beer. She’s not sure how much she’s had at this point, but she’s erring on the side of probably <em>too</em> much. She takes another sip, effectively finishing the bottle and she bounces off the wall. She heads towards Jamie’s room, in search of the stash they’d hidden ahead of the party.</p>
<p>She pushes through the crowd, stumbling into Jamie’s room. As she shuts the door a wave of dizziness crosses over her, and she rests her forehead against the door, taking a deep breath. The text from Eddie lingers in her mind. She just wants to escape him. He’s always <em>there</em>. </p>
<p>“Hey, Poppins. You alright?” Jamie’s voice rings out from behind her. She slowly turns around, in control enough to not topple over, and leans back against the door. She waves the empty bottle in front of her. </p>
<p>“Just came to get another.”</p>
<p>Jamie gives her that signature smirk that makes Dani’s heart race just a little.</p>
<p>“I think you’ve got enough in your system to last the rest of the night,” she says. “Don’t you?”</p>
<p>Dani looks at the floor and notices the way it sways below her. She runs her free hand over her face before looking back at Jamie. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess.”</p>
<p>Jamie sighs and approaches her, holding her hand out. </p>
<p>“Come with me.”</p>
<p>Dani sets the empty bottle down on the mini fridge and takes Jamie’s hand. She leads Dani through the apartment and takes them out the door, heading down the hallway to the emergency staircase.</p>
<p>“You good to make it up?”</p>
<p>Dani nods, and Jamie pushes through the door. They make their way up the stairs, Dani stumbling at one point, but Jamie’s hands are firm as they ground her. The feeling sobers her a bit.</p>
<p> When they make it up, there’s a lone door propped open with a small rock, and Jamie leads them through it, careful to make sure the door doesn’t shut behind them. A chill hits Dani as the November breeze proves stronger on the roof, and she shivers a bit out of habit. She’s still running a little warm, and Dani’s grateful to the alcohol in her system for it. Jamie leads them over to the edge, and they part hands as they lean against the chest-high barrier wrapped around the roof. She looks out into the sky and the building is just high enough to show bits and pieces of the London skyline, but low enough to be calming rather than thrilling. </p>
<p>Dani’s hands find their way into her pockets and she discovers a lone cigarette and a lighter. She’s never been much of a smoker, but it’s something she always ended up doing when she drinks. She remembers the way Eddie hated it. She thinks maybe a part of her did it to spite him.</p>
<p>Dani lights it and takes a drag, and the smoke burns a little more than she’s used to. She’s out of practice. She blows the smoke away from Jamie, and the wind carries it away. She follows it as far as she can with her eyes and when it dissipates, her gaze lands on the skyline. </p>
<p>“I love this view,” Dani says. She looks over to Jamie, finding her expression unreadable. She’s looking at Dani. All this sky and she’s looking at Dani. The cigarette twitches in her hand, and she finds it feels empty without Jamie’s own holding it. Her skin itches for the feeling, and she wants to reach out and grab it again, but something stops her. Something always does. </p>
<p>Maybe it’s the ghost of Viola’s hand gripping hers lightly at the park. Maybe it’s the fear of thinking she likes someone again, only for it to all come crashing down some time later. She’s already wasted so much time. She takes another drag of the cigarette.</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t smoke those things,” Jamie says, “It’ll kill ya.”</p>
<p>Dani eyes her. She notices the stark sincerity in Jamie’s expression. She takes one last drag, sticking the end into the concrete ledge in front of them. She lets it sit there, the embers and ashes leaving a trail of smoke in the air. </p>
<p>“My father was a coal miner,” Jamie goes on. “Learned the hard way that you need to protect the lungs.”</p>
<p><em>Was</em>. There’s an inflection in the way she said it. Dani thinks back to Jamie talking about her car earlier. Inherited, not given.</p>
<p>“Were you young?” Dani asks. She looks at Jamie, whose eyes are now trained deeply on the skyline.</p>
<p>“Almost thirteen,” Jamie says. “It’s been a long time.”</p>
<p>Dani nods, silently. She traces a finger across the brick. </p>
<p>“I never really knew my dad,” she says. </p>
<p>“No?”</p>
<p>It’s Dani’s turn to avert her eyes as Jamie questions her.</p>
<p>“There are a few pictures from when I was young but I don’t know anything about him,” She says, “All my mom says is that he just up and left.”</p>
<p>“Guess we got more in common than I thought,” Jamie says. It’s reluctant, like she wishes it was something she had no reason to say.</p>
<p>Dani goes silent. Her mind is racing and she doesn’t know where it’s going to stop. She wishes it would stop. She sighs into the dead air.</p>
<p>“So,” Jamie breaks the silence, “You wanna talk about it?”</p>
<p>Dani looks at her. There’s sympathy in Jamie’s eyes, but it’s also mixed with curiosity. Dani’s been forthcoming, but Jamie doesn’t know <em>everything</em>.</p>
<p>“Eddie’s been texting me all week.”</p>
<p>“I see,” Jamie says. “I suppose you weren’t trading photos of puppies”</p>
<p>“No.” Dani laughs weakly, “We weren’t.”</p>
<p>Jamie’s silent, almost waiting for Dani to fill the silence herself. She thinks about how much she actually wants to say, but liquid courage doesn’t leave a lot of room for free will. </p>
<p>“This time last year we were talking about marriage,” she admits. "I guess he thought that if he reminded me about it, I'd change my mind."</p>
<p>Dani feels like she’s dropped a bomb. She feels dramatic for it, but Eddie was her whole world. What she thought her whole world was going to be. It’s been harder to let go of than she thought it would be.</p>
<p>“How long had you guys dated for?”</p>
<p>“We met in kindergarten,” Dani says. “It kind of feels like we’ve been dating my whole life.”</p>
<p>“Wow,” Jamie says. “That’s a long time.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“You could block his number.”</p>
<p>“I could,” Dani admits. “I think a part of me is afraid to.”</p>
<p>She wishes she had a lot more alcohol right now.</p>
<p>“He was important to you,” Jamie says. “It makes sense. It’s hard to cut off someone you’ve known for forever. Especially if you’ve been kissing them.”</p>
<p>Jamie bumps into Dani’s side and Dani lets out a light laugh. She has to force it a little, but it feels good.</p>
<p>“Yeah..I guess I just feel bad for him.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine,” Jamie says. “But does letting that feeling control your life help you any?”</p>
<p>“I guess not.” Dani sighs, “I just keep having this sinking feeling that he was the one and I ruined it.”</p>
<p>She looks over to Jamie.</p>
<p> “What if I missed my chance?”</p>
<p>“Plenty of fish in the sea,” Jamie says. “With a face like yours? I’m sure you’ll find a nice guy.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs, this time real. She looks away, as if it’ll make her next words any easier.</p>
<p>“That’s like, the opposite of what I want.”</p>
<p>She ignores Jamie’s glare. Doesn’t dare turn to look at her. She feels nervous, more nervous than she ever has. </p>
<p>She hears Jamie laugh herself, more cynical this time. </p>
<p>“So Hannah wasn’t messing with me.”</p>
<p>Dani looks sheepish now, and her face feels hot. She finds it a welcome feeling in the wake of the cold.</p>
<p>“I mean, she was probably trying to torture you just a little bit,” Dani says. “I’m not exactly a star conversationalist.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Jamie says. “You’re what, four bottles in by now? Not doing too bad.”</p>
<p>Dani laughs.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or if I made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself around me,” Jamie goes on. “Hannah’s always trying to set me up with people and I was probably deflecting before I was on another date where I had to crawl out of the bathroom window again.”</p>
<p>“You’ve done that?” Dani finally looks at Jamie.</p>
<p>“I’ve genuinely considered it,” Jamie says. “Let’s just say that Hannah doesn’t have the best track record.</p>
<p>“No?”</p>
<p>“Well,” Jamie says, “Maybe with the exception of one.”</p>
<p>Dani looks away for a moment, feeling her nerves increase at the implication. When she looks back at Jamie, her gaze is quizzical, and Dani doesn’t miss the way Jamie’s eyes flick down towards her lips for just a second. </p>
<p>They lean in closer and Dani feels a rush inside her veins. A nervous energy buzzes inside her and their lips meet. It’s good for a second, <em>really</em> good, but then Viola pops into her head and she feels like she’s doing something wrong. She falters for a moment, and Jamie seems to notice. She pulls away abruptly.</p>
<p>“Shit, I’m sorry. You just broke up with your boyfriend. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m-you know what, just forget it,” Jamie rambles.</p>
<p>“Ja-”</p>
<p> “I’m really sorry, Dani just-don’t worry about it okay? I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>Jamie rushes off and Dani sighs, eyeing her long-put out cigarette. </p>
<p>“You always find a way, Dani.”</p>
<p>Her phone buzzes, and she thinks it’s become a bad omen at this point. She leans over the barrier a little further, her phone hot in her hand. It’s late enough that she doesn’t see anyone around the sidewalk. </p>
<p>She holds the phone out in front of her, nothing to save it but the concrete below. She’s about to count to three, ready to let go, but the text buzzes again and catches her eye.</p>
<p><strong>Viola (12:57 AM):</strong> You up? </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>took longer than expected but it's HERE!! thank you for reading&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!! u can come scream with me over @ daniclaytton on tumblr if you liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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